Pre-School Orientation

On Thursday we went to Arlo's very anticipated pre-school orientation. Since I began doing research for the right school for him and found this one, I just haven't been sure if he is ready. I know he will love the structure and learning aspect, but he is extremely shy in new settings and very attached to me. Luckily, as the summer has gone on he has really turned a corner with his shyness and I have actually been feeling pretty hopeful about the whole thing.
Well, orientation turned out to be a rough one for Arlo and for Mommy. When we arrived it was really crowded and somewhat chaotic. Arlo was immediately freaked out. When his dad got there he seemed to calm down a bit and we headed into his new classroom. His teacher was so nice and great with Arlo. She gave him a special shirt and bag, and showed us where his cubby and desk was. He was still tense as ever, but once he saw all of the toys and made his way over to them he started to loosen up a bit. We met two little boys and talked to his teacher for quite a while about airplanes. Things seemed to be looking up..that is until we had to transition to something new. The teacher put on a clean up song and asked that all of the kids finish up with the toys and join her on the rug. He looked at me with panic, and his eyes welled up with tears as he exclaimed; "I don't want to clean up!".
Once I got him to the rug the teacher went through some interactive ABC songs and games. Arlo refused to join in. He kept turning to me and giving me this look that seemed to say "are you serious? This is lame!"
After the ABC's we had to make another transition to the gym where the head of the pre-school was going to read the kids a story and chat with the parents. With this news, he had another melt down. By this time I was having a bit of a melt down myself (although doing my best to try and hide it). I wanted to take him and run out of the building. He felt so scared and unsafe. I just wanted to make everything right for him... It was torture.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, it was time to go. All the way home I was so upset I couldn't even talk for fear I would burst into tears. (I don't think the fact that I am over 8 months prego, swollen and having contractions was really helping my emotional state.)
When we got home Clint was trying to get me to talk about what aspects of the evening were so upsetting and of course, once again, the waterworks started flowing. I began sputtering things out like "I can't do it....he was so afraid...he doesn't like it etc etc"
The next thing I know, my little man comes up to me and says, " Mom, don't be sad. I will be OK, I just didn't like the big gym, but I liked my class. It's OK."
Here I am, the Mommy-the one who is supposed to be strong, crying and blubbering like a baby in front of my baby! I should have been the one giving him courage and strength to go through this big change, but instead my amazing little boy was the one giving it to me. I can't believe how hard it is to let him grow, to face his fears alone, and trust that he can do it.