Putting the Smack Down

Well, this week is going a bit better for me. I think I may be getting the hang of this, but It's definately a day by day, some times minute by minute thing. Arlo is doing much better. I always seem to have this realization as a mother when he starts getting really hard that I am just not disciplining effectively. Who knew this parenting thing would be such a challenge? I never wanted to be the psycho mom who is constantly stressed and in nag mode all of the time, but with a headstrong 3 year old and a new baby that is exactly who I have been the past month. I took a love and logic class with my best friend Bon when Arlo was just over a year and I loved it. I started applying what I was learning right away and I felt like I had some solutions to a lot of my problems. As time has gone on, I have slipped back into my old habits. I am a very reactive person. I wish I was the serene calm type but I never have been, and as a parent this is a huge problem. 3 year olds are all about control, and they will use any means they can figure out to get it. Especially when they are my smart and creative son...needless to say I have felt like by the end of the day all I have done with Arlo is engaged in one argument after the next. I find myself saying things 4-5 times before the behavior is stopped and things just keep escalating and escalating until mom becomes very short and exhausted. So I decided things need to change. I went back to do some refresher reading and have tried very hard this week to be more effective and positive with my discipline. I have even hung up signs around the house that say "Don't say, just DO" and "Don't react just ACT" this sounds ridiculous but I need something to remind me because I just aint gettin it. So far I am amazed and the difference. I have really really tried to not give Arlo and instruction more than once. If I have to say it again I have a consequence. An example is; The other day he spilled a bit of his shake and was whining that he wanted more. I calmy explained that he was not getting another one, but he kept it up. Instead of getting really irritated and trying to talk him out of wanting more, I just said if I heard another word about it the shake was gone. Of course he kept on with it, so I took the shake and chucked it in the garbage. He screamed the whole way home, but when he woke up from his nap he said; "I am not going to cry about my shake anymore that would be sad" and it was over. I found that after that incident if I gave him a warning once, he took it seriousely. Now we have still had lots of little incidents like this one, my Son is who he is, but the more I follow through with what I warn the less he fights me. This should seem obviouse! I don't know why I keep going back to one warning after another and wondering why Arlo keeps pushing things. HELLO--- mom needs to follow through, the first time! anyhoo hopefully I can keep this up and start feeling better about my parenting. I have a feeling this is going to be a constant struggle for me and something I am going to have to be VERY mindful about.