Back to Being Mom

Today was my first day back on the job! I have had people, mainly my sister practically living here the past month to help me take care of the boys and the house while I have been recovering from surgery. I have been so grateful for everyone. I really don't know what we would have done without them. Last week we started slowly having me with the boys for a few hours at a time and today I went it alone. I am very happy to report that it went great! I was a bit nervous about how I would handle chasing after Dyl with all of the restrictions I have on bending, picking up etc. I think there is going to be a bit of a learning curve to figure out how to not do more than I should, but the good news is we did great and I feel really good. No back pain, so that is a great sign. I have been doing lots of physical theraphy which I think has helped a lot.

I have realized a lot of things about the job as a homemaker since I have been down. first, I really, really love doing it. Sometimes I think it's easy to forget and get bogged down by the day to day realities of being a stay at home mom, but there is nothing in the world I would rather be doing than being here with my boys. Secondly, I really need to chill and stop being such a perfectionist. There is absolutely nothing harder for a person like me than to sit there and watch everyone do my job for me. I about went insane...but I had to let go, a lot. I could not expect things to be done the way I wanted them to be. Not with everything that was going on. When people were over helping, like my sister or Bonnie, they had their kids, my kids, me, and my house. There was just no way it was all going to happen! This was extremely hard for me. I realized that I am a very exacting person and sometimes have unrealistic expectations of myself. I think sitting in the midst of chaos and not being able to do a thing about it was exactly what I needed. I found out that I am not going to spontaniously combust if the house is a mess, Dyl is pouring out the contents of his bottle on the floor, and Arlo has lunch on his face... at dinner. Third, I want to remember how much the help and support of family and friends has meant to me, and I need to committ to pay it forward. I want to be the type of person that finds a way to help when people need it. and Forth, I love my Husband and boys so much! I cant believe how much Clint has stepped it up through this whole mess. He has always been a very helpful, hands on Dad but he has been cooking the meals, doing the laundry, listening to me cry and whine, scrubbing the toilet, helping me dress, shower, and giving me lots of pep talks. I am so thankful I have been able to gain a new perspective through this whole thing. I am so happy to be back doing what I love with the people I love.